


You Are My Dream

by redxblueIhateloveyou



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Touch-Starved, but it's all connected, every chapter is finished and could be read on its own, takes place somewhere by the end of season 3, they're so in love it hurts sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redxblueIhateloveyou/pseuds/redxblueIhateloveyou
Summary: Seven years these feelings burned inside of him, seven years he tried to deny them, unbearable and almost painful at times, that started to blossom from that first damn tournament when he looked into those clear as water blue eyes. He just knew that now that he got what he was longing for for so long, his knees would surely give out.***I've been persistently asked to put it here from my tumblr with the continuation that only like three people saw, so please don't throw too much tomatoes lol
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka
Comments: 26
Kudos: 106





	1. Home

“You… you didn’t even bother to text me about the races.” Haru whispered. “You didn’t have to write me long letters, anything would be enough.”

Rin couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“It wouldn’t be enough for me. I can’t just… casually text you.”

“You have no problems with everybody else. Why does it have to be me? Don't I mean anything to you?” 

_You mean too much._ Rin wanted to say, but the words got stuck in his throat.  
Faced with silence Haru felt his eyes starting to water.

"I thought everything was different this time. I told you back there... when you asked me to see the sakura before you left. But now you don't even think of me as a friend?"

“I.. I d-do.” He stuttered, “I didn’t mean to do this. It’s just you’re.. you…”

“Is this supposed to make me feel special?” There wasn’t even a real bite in his words. “We keep doing this over and over again, you’re leaving, you’re coming back without saying a word… Do you know how it made me feel when Gou mentioned that you were home on holidays for years and didn’t even want to see me?! Do you know how…” His voice broke when he realized that he was crying and saw the absolute horror on Rin’s face. For the first time in all these years he was really crying in front of somebody and it had to be Rin. Of course it had to be Rin.

He quickly turned away in embarrassment having an urge to run as far away from here as possible, when he felt strong arms enveloping around him, warm breath on his neck, wet drops sipping through the collar of his shirt. Haru wanted to move, but Rin only tightened his hold.

“I’m so in love with you, I can’t even think straight.”

Haru froze, it was barely a whisper, maybe he heard it wrong.

“I’m such an idiot, I’m sorry, please don’t cry. I can’t handle seeing you cry.” But Haru only felt himself starting to shake even more.

“Let go of me, Rin.” His voice hoarse.

He practically felt the man behind him panic so he raised his hand, tangled his fingers in maroon hair and pulled, turning around to meet with the red pair of eyes. He gently wiped the trace of tears on Rin’s cheek, really looking at him for the first time after all these months.

“You are such an idiot.” He barely whispered.

They were standing so close to each other, Haru's hand caught Rin's palm, trying to bring it to his face, but Rin suddenly drew his hand back, squeezing Haru's wrist and lightly nuzzling it with the tip of his nose.

"Wait... just a second." Rin's voice was shaking, when he lowered himself on the pool tile, pulling Haru with him.

Seven years these feelings burned inside of him, seven years he tried to deny them, unbearable and almost painful at times, that started to blossom from that first damn tournament when he looked into those clear as water blue eyes. He just knew that now that he got what he was longing for for so long, his knees would surely give out. His hand got under Haru's shirt, tightly grasping his waist and he felt him shiver. Haruka softly squeezed Rin's earlobe, catching a strand of his hair. His every move was so fluid and effortless that Rin inadvertently remembered how enraptured he was when he saw him in the water the first time. And ever since.

Haru's tongue lightly grazed Rin's lower lip and he felt them both tremble in anticipation. His hand clutched Haru's side so firmly he was sure, it will leave bruises. He thought it would be slow like a rising tide, but after Haru got a taste, he let out a shuddering breath and his mouth completely covered Rin's lips.  
All that he remembered was the smell of the chlorinated water, the burning movements of the tongue, something sharp grazing his skin, trying to make him bleed and the sudden blast of never-ending raindrops, flowing over them. But even the downpour couldn't tear them away from each other. 

Rin's wet palms slid up Haru's spine, pushing his shirt higher and higher, water was dripping between their lips, mixing with their saliva and cooling each scalding brush of the tongue. It was the most intoxicating feeling Haru has ever felt in his life, he couldn't describe it with any words. He remembered how every time he saw Rin he was annoyed when the fever spread throughout his body, but now he gladly accepted it.

Don't resist the water, embrace it. Then it will let you in and envelop you. Rin was everywhere: in his every breath and every move, and nothing could compare to this feeling.

***

Rin couldn't even remember how they got to the apartment, only that Haru didn't let go of his hand the whole way. While Rin tried to peel off the soaked shirt from his body, Haru somehow managed to shed all of his clothes. Cold and wet after the rain skin clung to his, one of Haru's hand went down his spine and under his boxers, another unbuttoned his jeans trying to pull them down.

He remembered how Haru for a moment left his arms to take something from the nightstand, remembered long graceful fingers opening and touching the most sensitive places inside of his body, remembered how he was ready to scream when he felt Haru's lips on his inner thigh and how he pulled his hair so he would stop... Later... later he wants to play out all of his fantasies that haunted him all these years. But not now. Now Rin wanted to feel him in the closest way possible, the way he dreamt about the most.

Haru filled him up torturously slow, but then as if he couldn't hold back anymore abruptly pushed his hips forward. Rin cried out and felt his muscles tremble and tighten. He felt hot wetness on his stomach.

"S-stop..." His whole body was shaking. Did he just... he felt his cheeks flush. To be honest Rin was surprised that he didn't lose it back at the pool when Haru painfully moved on top of him. He whined as if completely giving up. 

"God, I feel like I can't breathe even when I'm looking at you. I feel like I'm losing it." Rin's voice broke. "You... I... I can't think..." 

Haru tried to fight the pleasure that was clutching at the bottom of his stomach to control his voice, but it was still hoarse when he spoke.

"I can't either." Rin could almost feel actual pain in his soft voice. Haru's fingers were shaking when they removed wet hair from Rin's cheek "God, I've wanted you for too long."  
Unable to bear the burning look in his blue eyes, Rin brought his lips to the slightly-opened mouth and bit Haru's tongue, then grazing it with the tip of his own. At the same time he pushed his hips up, silently asking for him to start moving. He almost heard "finally" in Haru's lingering moan, when he started to move.

Rin desperately tried to string a few words, but it felt like his brain melted, all his thoughts were focused on the heady feeling of want that were piercing his whole body. He knew that the first time should be painful, especially if you're both inexpirienced (and even if was Rin thought that he still wouldn't care.. he dreamt about it for too long) ... but then why everything that Haru did to him only made him feel the almost unbearable pleasure?

"You.. I thought you said you never..."

Haru never lied, Rin knew that, but at the same time with the amount of Nanase's admirers it was hard to imagine that nobody made a move yet.  
Haru furrowed his brows, blue eyes looked at him strangely, it seemed like it took a lot of effort for him to part his tightly-pressed lips. A soft moan that slipped from them made Rin shiver, Haru froze inside of him.

"I never wanted anyone else." he whispered, his hand slowly went down Rin's chest, stopped on his stomach and slightly pushed. "I just feel you, that's all."

Rin frantically swallowed. Ignoring his hard agitated flesh, Haru's fingers glided along his ribs, then under him stopping on the curve of his spine.

"You just never saw yourself in the water. When you dive in, you curve your back and the water bends and caresses you right here." He touched the sensitive skin and Rin forgot how to breathe, he thought he'd lose his mind from this torture.

"And when you turn, you push away so hard that the wave softly hits you here." Haru's hand went down Rin's thigh and touched the back of his knee making his body tremble.

Rin choked from another viscous move of Haru's hips and quetly moaned "oh god", trying to cover his mouth with his palm. But Haru's hand suddenly pushed his shoulder into the bed so hard, that Rin shuddered and sharply exhaled. Haru froze in fear and quickly put his hand away, gripping the sheet in his fist.

"S...Sorry."

"Put it back. I like it..." Rin's voice was very quiet. "I like it, when you lose control because of me."

Hearing that made Haru smile. All of his childhood he thought that everything Rin did was to piss him off. But the problem was that it's not _what_ he did made Haru lose his cool, it was the fact that _Rin_ was the one who did it, that made Haru react so strongly. And Haru didn't even try to hold it in, he just let the emotions run free, letting them both enjoy these moments of chaos in their regular lives.

Haruka found Rin's hand and weaved their fingers together, carefully shifting his weight. The warm smile that appeared on his face has made Rin's heart beat in a wild rhythm. His another hand Haru propped up the bed. Letting out a shaking breath he pulled back and Rin immediately locked his legs around his hips, as if he was afraid that Haru's going to disappear. But Haruka just pulled Rin's lower lip between his making him open his mouth, his tongue circled his gums, when he firmly pushed inside of Rin, filling him to the brim. Rin cried out, but the sound drowned in the kiss. Haru's hips started to move.

Rin always thought that there was something almost sinful in Haru's swimming, and he couldn't fathom what his unbelievably sensual movement of his hips looked like... but now under the powerful, maddening thrusts he realised... god, he never wanted anyone to look at Haru during swimming anymore.

It was like Haru knew all the ways to make him lose his mind. Thrusts became even harder and faster and in the back of his mind Rin already was wishing even for a glimpse of pain, so it would clear his head for a second, but each time Haru somehow curved his spine and filled him up so sweetly and so right, as if he was doing it his whole life.

Rin clawed at Haru's back not even trying to hold back the loud moans, that was falling from his lips.

"Ha.. Haru, I can't... It's too..."

The words got cut, when he felt his muscles spasm around the hot flesh, he was shaking violently when he spilled, letting himself immerse in pleasure. Haru let out a strained moan, pressing his head to Rin's chest. Rin's hand got entangled in his hair trying to bring him even closer. God, he wanted to hear this sound forever. It was better than any of his wet dreams. He would've been embarrassed that he didn't even need to touch himself, but now the only regret he had was that he was so absorbed in his own passion that he could even see Haru's face in that last moment.

All the thoughts flew away though when he felt that despite the fact that he felt the hot wetness inside of him, he also realized that Haru was still hard inside of him. Then Rin thought that he would probably not survive this night. The only thing he couldn't beat Haru at was his unbelievable stamina. Clouded eyes looked at him for a second, then Haru licked the drop of sweat flowing down Rin's neck and touched his earlobe with the tip of his nose.

"More." he whispered barely audible and Rin let out a low moan.  
***  
They didn't want to let go of each other for a very long time. Only when Rin's legs refused to listen to him anymore, he agreed to turn onto his stomach. Haru just pushed his knee up the sheet, almost lazily pushing inside of him. Rin would've complained about not seeing his face, but Haru covered him with his body so fully, that he was even closer to him now, his breath was hot near his ear, and the sheet created the friction that made Rin bite into the pillow so he wouldn't scream.

Haru cooled down only when the sky started to lighten up. He settled them both on their sides, plastered to Rin's back. They couldn't keep their eyelids open anymore, but Haru still got to murmur something that sounded "also wanted to do it in the shower". Rin couldn't even find a strength to laugh. It's good that there was no practices tomorrow. He didn't think he could move even for an inch now, but he didn't regret even a bit. To be honest, Rin would be happy to spend the whole month like this. And even then it wouldn't be enough to settle down all the want that built up during all the years.

Haru was pressed so close to his back that his warm breath tickled Rin's sensitive skin. He suddenly remembered the night in the hotel in Australia when he first felt Haru's nose on his neck when he probably accidentaly cuddled to him during the night. Back then Rin was scared to even breathe.

Now Haru's whole body was glued to his, his arm wrapped around him laying on his abs, bended knee was brazenly pushed between Rin's legs. Rin squeezed Haru's hand tightly. He didn't need to painfully hold his ragged breath in fear that Haru would wake up and push away from him. He can no longer be afraid to fall asleep thinking that this one night is the only touch he will ever get. He can no longer fear that when the morning comes it will be the last time he falls asleep with him in one bed.

Rin brushed his hand to Haru's elbow and back, his body still refused to move properly and he felt the weakness in all of his muscles, but he didn't want to close his eyes. Some part of him still thought it was more like a dream. The best dream he has ever seen in his life.

***

First thing that Rin felt when he woke up was the tastiest smell of the fried bacon... from the window?

The sunlight blinded him, way too bright for a 6 o'clock in the morning. Did he slept through his jogging time?  
He brought his hand up to find the clock to see what time it is, but he didn't feel his nightstand and his hand limply dangled alongside the bed.

When his consciousness finally caught up with his awakening body, Rin's eyes flew wide open and he abruptly sat down on the bed. Hissing fell from his lips. God, his neck and his back didn't hurt that much even during his first training in Australia.

A long string of pictures flashed before his eyes: the pool, Haru crying, Haru licking the water from his lips, Haru... wasn't next next to him, but the sticky skin and disobidient body proved that it wasn't a dream. Somehow making his legs work, Rin got up from the bed. With great difficulty he put on his jeans, that were lying on the floor, and started to walk down the stairs thinking that his heart wouldn't survive if Haru wasn't there.

But what he saw knocked him down even harder and Rin even rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times. Haru standed in the kitchen not in his usual apron and swim trunks, but in only one t-shirt, barefoot, his hair was all out of place as if he just got out of bed and missed his holy regimen of being in a bathtub. His usual calm gaze was fixed on the pan where something loudly spluttered.

Rin let out an indistinct sound, and Haru immediately turned his head to him. After a second Haru's hands were already full of Rin, saying something unintelligible, the only word Haruka could make out was "dreaming".

"Why did you put on the pants?" Haru kissed the tip of his nose and Rin was on the verge of crying. He was really here, he was with him all night, and he still wanted him to stay.  
"It'll get burned." Haru flinched to the pan, still holding Rin's hands aroung his waist and making him follow. Rin dropped his chin on Haru's shoulder looking from behind and made a surprised noise. His stomach loudly growled and Haru softly chuckled.

"I thought you didn't eat bacon." Rin murmured. There's no way Haru went to the store looking like this.

He thought he saw Haru's cheek flush a bit.

"I was waiting for you, you know." It seemed like he could've described his whole life that way.

Rin froze. He realized that Haru didn't just wait for him, he was planning to offer Rin to stay with him, when he gets to Tokyo. He felt like something fluttered in the pit of his stomach.

"Did.. did you want me to stay with you?"

"I just thought that your home is far away, and Sousuke lives with his brother, and to find a new apartment here you need a lot of time, Makoto also had a hard time of finding something close to his university when he wanted to move from campus."

Haruka said all this in his usual calm and emotionless voice, as if it was something self-evident, but all Rin could think about was that Haru wanted him to stay with him even before he got back home and he felt something warm spread thoughout his body.

Rin gripped him tightly in his arms, while Haru caressed his neck without turning around. Home.


	2. Waterfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin stopped breathing, but Haru just continued to mumble something under his nose until he noticed that everyone including Nagisa fell silent. He put down the plate he was holding in his hand, looking at Rin’s wide opened eyes with confusion. Rin let out a shuddering breath.
> 
> “What?” He barely whispered. “What did you just say?”
> 
> “I said that I won’t ruin the mackerel with...”
> 
> “AFTER THAT!”
> 
> “Just because I love you doesn’t mean that...”
> 
> “You... you..” Rin’s eyes began to water. “You asshole... you can’t just say it right now.”

“Haru-chan, is it gonna be ready soon? I’m so hungry, we were walking for two hours and then you got stuck near the waterfall for another two.” Nagisa was fidgeting in the chair, dangling his legs. Rin turned away, his cheeks flushed. It’s good that they weren’t in that part of the waterfall where he was with Haru.

“Why are you always gathering in my apartment without asking? Go eat at your place.” Haru rolled his eyes, checking the mackerel. “And who told you that you’re gonna be eating here anyways?”

“Haru-chaaaaan, but you always cook so good.” Nagisa whined trying to open his doe eyes even wider.

Haruka made a "tch" sound and grabbed the plates. Rin caught him by the sleeve of his sweater and nuzzled his cheek. He vaguely heard cooing behind them that was interrupted with a squeak.

“Ouch, Rei-chan, don’t pinch me!”

“We’re guests, Nagisa-kun, behave yourself.” Rei fixed his glasses with a trained move.

“But it’s Haru-chan and Rin-chan!” Nagisa cutely pouted and Rin smiled looking at them.

“Rin.” Quiet voice appeared right near his ear. “Can you watch the rice, while I’m finishing the fish?”

Rin put his chair near the stove and sat down leaning on Haru’s hip.

“Fish and rice again? You’re insufferable.” 

“I thought we had a deal. Three days of the week are mine.” Haruka shrugged.

“Did you not hear what Mikhail say? That you need to grow your muscles?” Without thinking Rin started to draw something with his finger on Haru’s thigh.

“Ryuji said not to listen to anything he’s saying.” Haru looked at him with his tired eyes, but there were warmth inside those deep blues.

“Maybe we'll make some eggs?”

Haru frowned.

“You want some eggs, wait until Monday, Rin. You have four days anyway. I won’t ruin the mackerel with this. Just because I love you, doesn’t mean that...”

Rin stopped breathing, but Haru just continued to mumble something under his nose until he noticed that everyone including Nagisa fell silent. He put down the plate he was holding in his hand, looking at Rin’s wide opened eyes with confusion. Rin let out a shuddering breath.

“What?” He barely whispered. “What did you just say?”

“I said that I won’t ruin the mackerel with...”

“AFTER THAT!”

“Just because I love you doesn’t mean that...”

“You... you..” Rin’s eyes began to water. “You asshole... you can’t just say it right now.”

Haru looked at him with wide eyes that were almost shaking in panic, when he saw Rin crying. Haru lowered himself on the floor near Rin’s chair, not even noticing how Nagisa was pushing confused Rei out of the kitchen.

“Rin.” Haru tried to look at his face and Rin looked up when Haru’s fingers touched his cheek. “Did I say something wrong?”

Rin shook his head.

“I just..” his voice broke. “I just didn’t expect to hear it from you.”

Haru looked puzzled, still not getting what was wrong until his eyes finally got filled with understanding, then with sadness and... shame?

“Rin, we’re together for almost three months. What did you think was going on?”

“We live and sleep together?” Rin’s voice was awfully quiet.

“Jesus, Rin.” 

Rin made an unintelligible soft noise.

“I thought you knew.” Haru suddenly felt sick.

From the very beginning of their relationship he was really happy that he didn’t need to hide anything from Rin anymore: didn’t need to hide that he wanted to hug him, or even just sit next to him or fall asleep breathing in the warmth of his body. There was some freedom in this that Haruka wasn’t able to feel before. But he was still not as good at expressing his feelings as normal people. Maybe...

“Am I.. am I not doing enough? I don’t want you to feel this way..” Haru’s voice was shaking, he stirred thinking of holding Rin’s hand. Rin afraid that Haru was trying leave wrapped his arms around his neck touching his shoulder with the tip of his nose.

“You’re more than enough.” He whispered. “I’ve never been happier than I was in these last three months.”

Haru held him so tight, that Rin couldn’t properly breathe, one of his hand was caressing his back. To be honest Rin was a bit embarrassed of the fact that he still longed for Haru as strongly as he did all these years when he couldn’t touch him. It seemed like this want will stay with him forever.

They couldn’t get enough of each other in the evenings, he kissed Haru’s shoulder if he woke up in the middle of the night, showered his neck with his kisses until he got to the sleepy half-opened and adorably looking eyes, that after realizing who’s in front of him desperately caught Rin’s lips with his own, as if he was afraid that Rin was only in his dream and Haru was about to wake up. When Haru did woke up, he always met Rin after his running by taking off his soaked t-shirt. At first Rin tried to protest saying that he’s sweaty, but Haru didn’t listen licking his salty skin and whispering that he smelled like sea. He then dragged Rin into the shower and drove him crazy getting down on his knees while Rin’s fingers got tangled in his wet messy black hair.

He couldn’t hold back when he saw Haru in his stupid apron, cause sometimes he didn’t even put on his swim trunks underneath after the shower. Rin was trying to think of a stinky fish, killed puppies and even his grandma, trying with all of his strength to return from the perverted, always turned on teenager to a normal adult person, but Haru even just while changing clothes could remind him of everything they did in the morning, so Rin, cursing, just went to take a cold shower.

Because every time he felt the sharp pleasure, part of him was already regretting that it was over and he already couldn’t wait for the next time Haru would touch him. 

He brushed over him during the day, just lightly, being afraid of being too clingy, cause he knew that Haru didn’t like anyone invading his space.

He got all that he wanted, but now he was afraid to lose it. So the next question that left Haru's lips made Rin’s eyes flew open in disbelief.

It looked like Haru was trying to find the right words for a very long time, then blue eyes met with the maroon ones.

“Maybe.. do I.. do I sleep with you too much?”

Rin felt his face becoming red. Haru.. Haruka Nanase thought that he was too needy? What was Rin supposed to say? “You are not doing it enough”? It seemed like Rin's body was trying to catch up on all of the lost time. And if it was true, they would need to work on this for years.

There was so much concern in Haru’s eyes that Rin decided that he’d die from shame, but tell the truth.

“I was holding back actually.” His voice was barely heard.

“You... what?” Haru stared at him questionably.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Rin put a hand over his eyes. “It’s like... I can’t get enough of you.”

Haru's nose brushed his palm, and Rin heard a soft chuckle.

“Rin, if it wasn’t for our training schedule, I wouldn’t even want you to get out of the bed.”

Rin hid his face in Haru’s neck.

“So I can touch you as much as I want to?” His murmured into his shoulder.

“I _want_ you to touch me as much as you want to.” Haru suddenly stopped. “Wait. Is this why you took cold showers so often? 

Rin just nodded.

“So you’re happy then... with me?” Haru’s fingers found Rin’s hand.

“ _Too_ happy.” Rin squeezed his hand.

Haru sat in the chair next to him bringing Rin into his lap, so their faces were really close.

“Me too.” Haru said softly. “Why are you crying then?”

His voice was calm as usual and if it wasn’t for the incredibly expressive eyes, Rin would’ve thought that he didn’t feel nervous at all. 

The was so much warmth and vulnerability in those eyes, that Rin shivered. He saw that look many times. Accidentally caught it during the years, but Haru immediately looked away so Rin always thought that it was meant for somebody else. He hasn’t seen this look in the last months, it changed to bright shiny blue with a smiling wrinkles around his eyes, or the deep blue almost black at times, as if dipped in something sweet.

Rin knew how much Haru loved him. He felt it in his every touch, even when he just brushed a strand of his hair, in his every look that was focused on him. It was in tiny things that made Rin’s heart clench inside of his chest. Like when he couldn’t get his hand into the wet sleeve of his sports jacket and Haruka, while walking by, kissed his bare shoulder carefully tugging up a suddenly very compliant piece of cloth.

Everything Haru did looked so simple, as if loving Rin was a natural part of his life. And Rin felt like he was bathed in this love from head to toe. All these months he felt like he lived in a dream.

“You.. you just said that you loved me so casually, as if we were together for years.”

Haruka tilted his head, his brows furrowed.

“Is that bad?”

Rin half sobbed-half laughed.

“No. The opposite.”

Haruka’s lips brushed his cheek.

“Did I really never say out loud?”

Rin for a second lost the line of thought, when hot tongue made a line under his chin.

“No.” He breathed out. Haru’s nose grazed the skin behind his ear.

“Sorry... I thought...”

Rin’s fingers got tangled in Haru’s hair.

“I knew.” He fidgeted in Haru’s arms, trying to get rid of the heavy feeling down his stomach, locking his hips more tightly around Haru’s. “I just didn’t expect it. When you said it out loud, everything suddenly became so real, and I always think that I’m gonna wake up in the bed in Sydney alone.”

“If you ever wake up in Sydney, it’s gonna be with me.” Haruka lips lightly brushed Rin’s, going down his chin, then his neck, making Rin let out a shaking breath. 

“I love you.” Haru caught the sensitive skin between his teeth, then letting his tongue draw uneven lines on Rin’s shivering body. “So much.”

He moved his hips a bit and Rin quietly moaned.

“I really wanted you to feel it. The first time and every day.”

“I do.” Rin whispered. “You’re still driving me insane.”

Haru locked his hands tighter around his waist.

“And I still don’t want to let go of you during the night.” His breath was hot on Rin’s neck. 

“Me too.” 

“And I’m really happy, when I wake up knowing that soon you’re gonna get back from running.”

“I don’t want to go running because of you.”

Haru smiled and Rin squirmed on his lap.

“Can you tell me again?” He looked into the deep blues. Haru grazed his lower lip and pushed his tongue inside of Rin’s mouth, licking the moan that fell from his lips.

“I love you.”

When Haru’s lips went down Rin's collarbone, he arched in his arms, painfully gripping Haru’s shoulders. Annoyed that he couldn’t feel the naked body under his fingers, Rin harshly tagged at his sweater.

“Take it off.. I want..”

Haru didn’t let him finish, freeing himself from the piece of clothes in one move. Rin pressed as close as possible to his warm body, catching Haru’s lips with his. Haruka tugged the shirt from Rin's shoulder, slowly gliding his fingers down his arm.

The sounds of their tongues intertwining were so loud, wet and shamelessly hot, that they completely clouded Rin's mind, he once again felt like he was drowning in Haru’s arms.

When they teared away from each other for a second to catch a breath, Rin got lost looking at Haru’s face: red puffy lips, clear shiny eyes, hair that was ruffled with Rin’s fingers, slightly pinked cheeks. The tips of Rin’s fingers brushed his skin and Haru caught them between his lips. Rin couldn’t look away.

“You’re so pretty, when you’re happy.” He whispered.

Haruka smiled and kissed his palm.

Putting hands under Rins hips he helped him to get on the table and took off his shirt. His tongue left a wet trail down his chest, stomach and right above his hip line, making Rin tremble. His fingers touched Haru’s eyebrow, drawing a line down to his chin. 

“You.. you are really here.” There was something close to a disbelief in his eyes. He moved the hair from Haru’s face and opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but not finding the right words.

“Yeah.” Haru’s voice was hoarse, his cheek touched Rin's palm. “I’m here.”

Last thought that was on Rin’s mind is that it’s good that they didn’t get to shower yet after their trip. Because he didn’t want to let go of Haru now and waste any time, he just wanted him inside. So when Haru’s eyes moved in the direction of the bedroom, he quickly caught his wrist.

“I don’t need it. I’m still...” Rin didn’t finish. Haru narroowed his eyes, they traveled down his body and stopped between his legs.

***

Rin’s head hit the firm surface. He let out a loud moan, his fingers painfully gripped the side of the table. His spine arched asking for more. His hips quivered but Haru’s hand was holding him tightly, not letting him close his legs.

“What do you want?” Haru asked. He voice was trembling, but firm.

Rin broke.

“You.” He sobbed.

“Why won’t you just say so?”

“Because I want you all the time.”

Haru’s hands gripped Rin’s hips even tighter, when he once again harshly pushed inside of his pliant body.

“Then say it every time.” He breathed out.

Rin moved his hips and his body reflexively shuddered, when Haru brushed a sensitive spot inside of him. Loud moan left his lips.

Haru’s body shook from all the attempts of holding himself back. For a second he froze, trying to get himself together, he took a deep breath, his nose brushed Rin’s neck. God, he smelled so good, and his hair was still wet from the waterfall.

Haru was still inside of him, pushing in and out only by millimeters: not enough to leave Rin empty, but creating a constant stimulation in that one place that made Rin sweetly arch his spine again and again until he became completely helpless in his arms.

Rin’s grip on his waist weakened, quiet moans slowly turned into shameless screams. His muscles spasmed uncontrollably in moments, that Haru couldn’t predict making it hard to keep control even of a well trained body, turning it into a pure torture.

Rin clenched around him so hard that Haru’s vision went white. Wet skin almost vibrated under his fingers, from Rin's lips rolled a loud cry.

Haru tried to stop himself, knowing that right now Rin was unbelievably sensitive and every move could be painful, but Rin’s legs closed around his waist, bringing him even closer.

“H.. harder.” One word quietly left his shaking lips, making Haru let himself go. He started to move in an uneven rhythm, the leg of the table flew in the air and lended back on the floor with a thud, everything merged into a string of sinful noises, in which Haru got completely lost.

One wave of the pleasure spurred another, never letting Rin’s body take a breath. All sounds seemed too loud, the harsh surface too rough for his skin, that felt like it was burnt. Painful thrusts were turning into a sharp pleasure so fast, that he didn’t even have time to comprehend what was happening, completely losing control of his body. It felt like he was trying to hold in his hands a force of nature.

Haru’s hips slammed into him one last time and he froze inside of him, his lips harshly pressing to Rin’sm making him catch his loud moan with his mouth. Haru’s body shuddered and he relaxed in his arms, fingers crawling under Rin’s back, holding him tighter to a still shivering body.

Rin’s body went absolutely numb. He many times had several orgasms per night, but he never thought that it was possible to push one wave with another. Shock from the intense feeling was still making his body shake uncontrollably.

Haru just lied on top him. To Rin’s happiness, it seemed like he didn’t intend to move any time soon. Rin wrapped himself around him, brushing his hair with his fingers and staring at the ceiling. Mindlessly drawing lines on Haru’s back, he tried to focus on calming his loudly beating heart. 

Haru suddenly moved, and Rin looked down, catching the worried look in his eyes.

“Are you hurt?” Haru tried to push himself up on his hand, but Rin lightly elbowed him, making him lose his balance. Haru let out a surprised noise, when their noses touched and Rin caught his lips with his own. With his still half disobidient hand he touched Haru's chin, silently asking to deepen the kiss. After a few minutes, Rin fell back, licking his lips. 

“Not at all.” He said, caressing Haru’s furrowed brow.

“Are you cold?” He tried to get up again, but Rin gripped him tightly with his legs.

“Not at all.” He said quietly. “Just.. can we just lie like that for a bit?”

His voice sounded unsure. Haru looked at him for a long time, as if trying to find out if he’s lying, but then brought Rin’s palm to his lips.

“You hand is shaking.” 

“I know. It’s your fault.” Rin laughed hoarsely and that made his muscles unwillingly contract. Haruka, who was still inside of him, hissed.

“Don’t.. don’t do that.” He gritted between his teeth. His legs weren’t listening to him, and he couldn’t find any strength to walk up the stairs to the bedroom right now. But his body was having a mind of his own, and one move of Rin’s hips and it started to gain interest in what was happening.

Rin pushed himself up on his elbows, then wrapped his arms around Haru’s neck, softly pushing him back.

“Chair. Sit in the chair.”

Haruka slightly lifted Rin’s hips, holding him closer to his body and following the orders sat Rin down in his lap. Letting out a relieved breath, he kissed his cheek bathing into the feeling of Rin’s body so tightly wrapped around him. 

“Now what?” He asked softly.

Rin smiled. He propped himself on Haru’s shoulders, lifting his body up and then slamming down, making them both moan.

And only when he caught the burning look of the blue eyes, he realized...

What even made him think that there will be a time when he’s gonna cool down and not gonna want him as strongly? Especially when only three months have passed. He remembered how in this same amount of time he managed to learn the swimming technics and the more comfortable he got in the water, the more he wanted to continue swimming. More and more... until he couldn’t imagine a day without this feeling.

His eyes flew wide open. The want... this longing to be with Haru.. it won’t go away, he thought. It will probably only gonna get worse. 

The thought should’ve scared him, but all that Rin felt was a relief.

Haru became a part of him a while ago, and for a long time it was like he was trying to tear himself apart.

They wasted too much time on so much stupid misundestandings and omissions. But now the insecurities, that were eating Rin all these years, started to fade right before his eyes under the touches of Haru’s fingers. He was here, with him. He loved him as much... he wanted him as much. Rin held him even tightly. He won’t ever let him go anymore.


	3. Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck off, Rin! I can take care of myself. It's not your problem, what and when I eat!"
> 
> Rin shrunk back from the unexpected sharpness in his voice.
> 
> The realization of what he said came to Haru too late. By the time that his eyes got filled with regret and guilt, Rin was already looking away, letting go of his hand, as if he got burned.

Haru was annoyed. All these talks about him being special and unusual were pissing him off. 80 percent of the problems in his life came from this "special". He didn't want to be. He wanted to be normal and train like normal people, without all of this shit. He took his sports bag out of the locker and slammed it shut.

"Easy there. I thought breaking the lockers was my thing."

Haru immediately turned to the sound of the soft, soothing voice.

"Rin...? Why are you here?"

Rin squinted, looking at his trembling shoulders and involuntary shrunk.

"Well... I came to get you. Practice ended a bit early."

Feeling as if something was already going very wrong, Rin wanted to add "apparently I shouldn't have", but he just shyly smiled instead.

Haru's shoulders relaxed when he let out a breath.

"No, it's good, I'm almost ready."

Rin shifted from one foot to the other. It looked like Haruka didn't plan on greeting him in any way, he was methodically putting his things in the bag, his brows were furrowed. Rin bit his lip, then trying to ease the palpable tension uttered:

"Did Ryuji talk about the benefits of soba for an hour again?"

Haruka zipped the bag and shook his head. Rin tilted his head, looking at him intently and tried again:

"Did something go wrong during the practice?"

"It was okay. We even found a way to improve my results." Haruka spoke, but there was no real excitement in his voice. Rin felt like he hit a dead end, Haru clearly didn't want to meet him halfway. He hesitated to touch him, too. He felt like even his questions only further irritated him.

"Are we going?" Blue eyes looked at him wearily. Haru were already almost near Rin, when he suddenly stumbled and stopped, bringing a hand to his head. Rin rapidly caught his elbow and made Haru lean on him.

"Are you..."

"It's nothing. Just felt dizzy for a second."

Rin pushed wet strands of hair from his forehead and sighed.

"And what did you eat today exactly?"

Haru waved him off tiredly.

"I don't know... Rice... I don't remember."

Rin gripped his elbow harder than he intended.

"How many times did I tell you that you can't eat like this with your training regime. You know, we increased our workout intensity by three times already cause of this damn competition. I thought we've talked about..."

"Fuck off, Rin! I can take care of myself. It's not your problem, what and when I eat!"

Rin shrunk back from the unexpected sharpness in his voice.

The realization of what he said came to Haru too late. By the time that his eyes got filled with regret and guilt, Rin was already looking away, letting go of his hand, as if he got burned. By the moment Haru's fingers moved to touch him, Rin was already out of the locker room and Haru slowly sunk to the floor. All this time the only thought that brought him comfort was that he was going to be home soon and hug his only source of his joy during this tough week. And now he went and ruined it. Haruka put his chin on his knees. Nice one, Nanase. He gathered all of his strength to get up. Rin couldn't have gotten far, it should be easy to catch up with him on the way home. Unless he decided to go for a run in the evening. With a heavy sigh, he got up from the floor, only to hear the door open with a slam and see an angry looking and slightly flushed Rin. He threw something on Haru's bag looking at him with flashing eyes.

"Don't leave, until you eat this."

Haru watched him with a confused look, then his eyes traveled to a sandwich and a juice box laying on his bag. Something tightened inside of his chest. 

He just yelled at him and he went and brought him something to eat? Haru looked back at Rin again, feeling his eyes starting to sting.

"I'm going home." Spat out his still angry half, pointing at the direction of the exit. "You go yourself."

"Rin!" Haru called him name out so abruptly, that Rin didn't even get a chance to move from his spot yet. Haru's voice lowered almost to a whisper and was shaking a little. "I _am_ your problem." 

Rin's chest was still heaving, but the hand with a closed fist slowly unclenched.

"And I like it, when you're taking care of me."

Red eyes softened.

"I just had a bad day. And I know it's not an excuse, but just... forget what I said.”

Rin shoulders fully relaxed. Completely stunned, he was looking into now incredibly vulnerable pair of eyes in front of him.

"I thought I will cool down on the way home and all this time I only thought about how I'd be home soon and you'd hug me. But I didn't manage to... calm down.. that is." Haru fell silent for a moment and looked at Rin with aching eyes.

"So hug me... please."

Rin's arms caught him at the same moment Haru's hands got wrapped around his neck. Rin's palm brushed up his spine under the sports jacket, stopping on his shoulder blades and kneading his strained muscles.

Haru's fingers stroked Rin's hair, when he kissed his shoulder.

"You _are_ my problem." Rin softly said, bringing him closely.

"Yours." Whispered back Haru.

***

They were walking home really slowly, Haru was chewing his salmon sandwich, while leaning on Rin's shoulder. Rin got his hand wrapped around his waist. When Haru finished eating, he pulled out the juice from the bag and smiled when he saw the box. Pineapple. Haru looked up and Rin stopped, catching his stare.

"What? Still feeling bad?"

"No... I just really like you."

Rin's cheek flushed and he brushed his lips against Haru's. Haruka's hand grabbed his neck, bringing him closer and deepening the kiss, making Rin stagger. It was already dark on the streets and there were no people around, but at that moment Rin knew that he wouldn't let go of him even if they were surrounded by a crowd.


	4. Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes rested on a very familiar envelope with an australian stamp on it. In the left corner he saw Sousuke's adress in his own writing. Rin involuntarily grabbed the battered envelope. It looked like it was opened and closed too many times.  
> Rin already knew what letter it was, he just didn't understand how it got to its innitial destination.

"Look in the drawer, I think I've put it there." Rin heard Haru's voice from the kitchen.

Rin went to open it and saw their applications. With a triumphant smile, he took them out, ready to shout back that he found them, but his eyes rested on a very familiar envelope with an australian stamp on it. In the left corner he saw Sousuke's adress in his own writing. Rin involuntarily grabbed the battered envelope. It looked like it was opened and closed too many times.

Rin already knew what letter it was, he just didn't understand how it got to its innitial destination. He heard footsteps and soon a head with wet and messy hair peeped out of the doorway.

"Did you fin..." Haruka froze. His eyes flew open, mortified, when he saw, what Rin was holding in his hand.

He approached Rin cautiously as if he was a kitten who tried to run away, then pulled out the letter from his grip. Rin looked up at Haru with a confusion, complitely at a loss of what was happening.

"Just... Please, don't take it. He said it was meant for me. I know that you didn't want to... but don't take it, okay?" Haru carefully lowered it back in the drawer and closed it too rapidly. The loud noise took Rin out of the haze.

"I wasn't going to." He uttered. Haru's shoulders relaxed a bit.

"Oh... Good then." He turned around to go back, but Rin refused to leave it like that.

"It's not like you haven't heard these words from me outloud." Rin smirked, trying to lighten the tension, but an uncomfortable silence hung in the air for what felt like an eternity, when Haru finally spoke.

"It's just... it was all that had." Quiet voice trailed off, as if he didn't know what to say after that. There wasn't any sound of reproach in his words, but Rin still felt like somebody stabbed him in the heart. He wasn't hurt by his old mistakes, but by the way Haru desperately gripped onto that piece of paper, as if it's still gonna serve as lifeline for him in the future.

As if when they for some reason needed to go somewhere separately for a long time now, Rin wouldn't be glued to his phone screen with the videocalls. He winced. It was a while since he saw Haru's eyes like that - the pretty blues were almost fogged over. It seemed like the memories didn't let go of him yet. Four months can hardly erase the seven years of the same thing being repeated over and over again. But even if Rin couldn't erase that, he can certainly make Haru stop thinking like he's gonna disappear anywhere any time soon. _Any time ever_ , he thought.

Rin caught him in the doorway, pressing his lips to a cold after spending a long time in a bathtab ones, licking into them until they opened up to the soft touch. He pressed the tip of his nose to Haru's, catching his now almost glossy gaze. Much better, Rin smiled.

"Actually I took your shirt after that sleepover."

Haru's breath hitched.

"My Loosey-kun! You stole my Loosey-kun."

Rin couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, but there wasn't any fun in his voice when he spoke.

"I'm sorry." In those two words that he painfully breathed out was so much more, than an apology for a stolen shirt. Haruka just warmly smiled, staring at him. Rin lowered his head to press his lips to a slender neck and pushed Haru to the direction of the wall.

"Stay here."

"Rin.." Haru moaned, when warm lips left a wet trail on his chest and Rin dropped to his knees before him. His fingers traced the v-line right above the swimtrunks. Wet fabric refused to budge and Haruka chuckled when he heard how Rin murmured _I hate it_ under his breath.

"You've said it any times already."

"Home... Why would you wear it at home?!"

Every time Haruka easily got rid off his clothes, Rin wanted to make a joke about a stripper career, but he'd always lose the train of thought after that. Hot tongue brushed the skin right below Haru's waist and he whined.

"The bed... I want on the bed." His shaking hand gripped maroon hair. Rin smirked and kissed his hip.

"Think you won't be able to stay on your feet, huh?" He many times tried to make Haru flustered, when it came to sex, but somehow the other just unbashedly told him everything he thought and wanted, without even stattering, and it just made Rin's heart warm for some reason.

"I won't." Haru's hand touched his cheek and Rin smiled, catching it and tugging him to bed, where he comfortably settled between his legs. Long fingers got caught in his hair again, begging him to continue.

The sounds that were leaving Haru's lips in these moments made Rin's stomach tremble, and he also couldn't keep his moans in, making the fingers in his hair painfully grasp the stands. Rin's hand was pressing Haru's thighs to bed, no letting him move, but he couldn't help grinding his own hips, every time the sensitive skin touched the sheets.

Incoherent words was falling from Haru's mouth, the only ones Rin could make out were "hot" and "wet". _Pervert_ , Rin smiled to himself. Breathtakingly beautiful pervert. When Haruka's body shuddered in his arms and he went quiet, Rin licked every single drop. The saliva got mixed with come, when Haru drew him into a filthy, heated kiss. He thought that others would probably find this absolutely disgusting, but it only turned him on more. He grinded his hips against Haru's only once before he started shaking in his arms, biting his lower lip and almost drawing blood.

Haru's fingers traced his stomach, gathering the wetness and slowly making their way between Rin's legs. Rin's breath hitched and he tried to collect his thoughts. He needed to ask him now, while he's still able to think somewhat clearly. Before they got completely lost in each other, cause that could make him feel out of touch with reality for hours. And he didn't want to put this off any longer.

Because Haru apparetly still thought that there was a possibility that Rin would be going anywhere. Just the thought of it could make Rin laugh. Now even if Haru decided to kick him out, he probably wouldn't leave.

He honestly never thought that it would be that easy for them to live together. Ever since their sleepovers, his heart hurt, cause everything felt so right... just being next to Haru. And the reality exceeded all of his dreams, but it still was Haru's apartment. All the stuff that Rin had here were from his last trip to Australia. It's not like he needed anything else, but he really missed his dad's picture on the shelf, he wanted to take that stupid dolphin from their living room and put it next to the identical one that was standing here in the bathroom... When this thought crossed his mind for the first time, he got scared that it was prorbably too early to talk about stuff like that, and the uncertainty got the better of him. But almost all of his fears faded when a month ago the blue-eyed wonder stated that he loved him so casually, as if it was as obvious as the fact that water is wet.

Still trying to clear his hazy mind, Rin held out his hand to Haru's, grasping the air.

"Come here for a second."

Haru licked his finger before interwining their hands, which made Rin moan out _oh god_ and mutter something about Nanase killing him someday. Haruka already layed on top of him, carefully studying Rin's face.

"You don't want to?" his voice was a bit husky and Rin really adored seeing him like this, still half lost in pleasure.

Rin giggled because of the ridiculousness of the question. Haruka would stop loving mackerel before Rin would stop wanting to sleep with him.

"You wish, Nanase."

Haru smiled, but there was still a crease between his eyebrows.

"What's wrong then?"

Sarcasm immediately dissappeared from Rin's voice. He felt very vulnerable, when he started to talk.

"I... I just wanted to ask, if you could go to see my mom with me?"

Furrowed brows immmetely relaxed, and Haru's finger traced the bridge of Rin's nose, stopping at the tip.

"Sure. Haven't been home for a while?"

"No. I've been there recently actually. I just..." Rin took a deep breath. "I wanted to take some things from home."

He unintentionally lowered his eyes while he was talking, but when he looked up, after what felt like minutes of complete silence, he almost stopped breathing. Haruka looked at him with so much adoration and complete disbelief, that Rin felt blood rushing to his cheeks. There was something so intimate and unprotected in this look, that made him fidget. They both knew what that meant, and Rin couldn't even distinguish whose heartbeating he was hearing. In this silence even their breathing sounded too loud.

He felt like Haruka was torturing him for eternity, then his head dropped to Rin's chest nuzzling it, his hands pushed their way under his spine, until Haru completely wrapped himself around his body.

"Like you even need to ask." he whispered. "I'll go, stupid, of course, I'll go."


	5. Rin's birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin fell silent for a second. When he started talking again, his voice was shaky.
> 
> "Mom, I'm so happy, it scares me."

Rin pressed the phone to his ear, while fumbling the pamphlet about the benefits of swimming that was laying on the foyer table.

"Rin, did something happen?" His moms voice was so troubled, that Rin almost hit his head on the wall. He was silent for so long, while his was thinking of ways to say this, that he unintantionally made her worry.

"No, mom, it's about... I just..." Rin went silent again.

"Is this about your birthday, love?"

"Yes" He accidentally ripped the frail paper. Rin heard the light chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"Me and Gou decided on Saturday, we can't wait to see you two."

"Huh?"

"You wanted to spend Wednesday with Haruka, right?"

"How..." Rin swallowed. "You won't be upset? I mean, we always go home on our birthdays..."

"Of course, not. It's even better, if you're gonna come for the whole weekend."

Rin was quiet for a moment, and then nervously started.

"I haven't... ever celebrated... alone with him."

"Don't worry, you didn't call first."

Rin's fingers creased the edge of the pamphlet and he almost dropped the phone.

"What?"

The voice on the other end became even warmer.

"Sounds like you two are good."

Rin felt his cheeks flush.

"Very." He muttered quietly.

"I'm glad, love."

Blushing, Rin awkwardly fixed his cap.

"Love you, mom."

"Love you, too. Don't overwork yourself."

"Don't worry, we're looking after each other." 

He hang up the phone and put it in his pocket. He wasn't the first one who called?

Lost in his thoughts, Rin couldn't hear the approaching footsteps. Someone's fingers got under his cap, taking it off his head and he felt the warm breath on his hair.

"Hey" Soft voice tickled his ear. 

Rin smiled and caught Haru's hand.

"You're all wet" He grumbled in a fake displeasure, lightly bumping him with his head.

Haruka dragged him to the direction of the door.

"Can we stop for a sweet bread on our way?"

Rin's stomach loudly growled and Haru let out a chuckle.

"I take it as a yes."

There wasn't too dark on the streets yet and the road was lightly lit by the evening sun. The wind was pretty cold and Rin put their intertwined hands into his pocket, making Haru go way too close to him.

Woman next to the small shop that read "Hokkaido bread" warmly smiled at them, while Haruka managed to pay and get the bag with only one free hand, never letting go of Rin.  
From the smell of the freshly baked bread, stomach treacherously growled again and Haru, laughing, carefully got his hand out of Rin's grip and slipped it into the bag. Spliting the bun in two halves, he bit from his half, bringing the other one to Rin's lips. Soft bread almost melted in his mouth, making him moan. Haruka's hand went back into Rin's pocket, interlacing their fingers.

"Please, don't make these sounds." He lightly nudged him.

Rin smirked.

"We're five minutes from home."

Haru nuzzled his arm.

"I wanted to asked you something. And... I mean, you don't have to agree to this, cause it's your... day, I asked your mom and Gou just in case, if you say yes, and Gou said that she thought so..."

"Yes." Rin interrupted him, squeezing his hand. "I just told my mom, that I wanted to spend Wednesday here."

"What?" Haruka stopped near the stairs.

"I'm saying, that I want to spend my birthday with you."

"But you always..." Haru abruptly stopped. "I didn't mean as a surprise party. I mean... I have a surprise, but it's not the party. I didn't call Nagisa, Makoto, Sousuke..."

"I know. I told you. I want to spend it with you." Repeated Rin, stopping the flow of words. Haruka's eyes looked right at him.

"Oh." He paused for a second. "Me too."

Haru lifted the edge of the cap to get the stray lock of hair under it and Rin caught his hand, pressing the cold fingers to his lips and dusting them with his warm breath.

"Are we going in or no?" Haruka pushed Rin to the stairs, and the other one smiled, walking up and tagging Haru with him.

"Is this why you stayed longer today at the pool?"

"Hm?"

"The fact that you were late has something to do with your surprise."

Haruka rolled his eyes.

"Oh, no, it won't work."

"It will."

"No."

"Yes. You always accidentally tell me about all of your surprise parties."

"Just open the door, Rin."

The other just laughed, when Haru tumbled down on him, pushing him inside. He wanted wednesday to come as soon as possible.

***

Cancelling the morning run, Rin woke up only at 12, wrapped in Haru's arms. Feeling him move, lips on his neck went down the hot after the long sleep skin of his back. Rin turned around in Haru's arms, already looking for the deep blues with his still sleepy gaze. Getting comfortable, he moved even closer, so the tips of their noses met. Haruka smiled so warmly, that if Rin was standing, he was sure his knees would buckle. Haru lightly brushed Rin's lips with his.

"Happy birthday."

Rin felt like he was about to cry. How many times he fantasized about this, thinking that it's just a hopeless dream. He lifted his head from the pillow, pressing their mouths together again. He tugged on Haru's lower lip, until his hand got wrapped into Rin's strands, deepening the kiss.

Kissed and pampered to a shaking knees, Rin came down for breakfast feeling light-headed. Putting him into the chair after the shower, Haruka emptied something from a container from the fridge into the pan. As soon as it heated up, Rin got startled by the familiar delicious smell.

"When did you... But you came home with me!"

Haru walked up to him to kiss the tip of his nose.

"You sleep very soudly."

Sukiyaki... Haru cooked him sukiyaki while he was sleeping. Rin already knew that he probably won't survive this day. Noticing his weird expression, Haruka stared at him keenly.

"What?"

"I'm gonna die today."

Haru laughed.

"Very convenient for the tombstone"

Rin pursed his lips.

"Hungry."

"Yes-yes, sir." Still chuckling Haru went to get the plates.

***

By 4 o'clock Rin was on cloud nine. Haru took him to places, Rin didn't even know existed. They went from their favorite waterfall to a weird festival, through the oceanarium and the peculiar fisherman's little shop near the lake. Extremely happy and slightly tired, Rin was sitting on the floor in their hall, waiting for Haru to grab their clothes for the pool. The phone started ringing in his pocket and Rin picked it up.

"Hey, mom."

"Happy birthday!" Gou also screamed in the back, adding something that Rin couldn't hear.

"We love you, and hope you're having a great time. We decided to call now, in case you'd be busy in the evening."

Rin went red.

"Mom!"

"Is Haru with you?"

"He's getting our stuff, we're going to the pool."

"Of course, you are." He heard Gou laughing on the other end. "You sound happy." 

Rin slightly smiled, talking very quietly.

"Mom, he cooked me sukiyaki and took me to a grill festval, I didn't even know it was a thing. We went to the waterfall and near the lake. Some old fisherman has a very odd shop there, he was so funny and he has tackles just like dad's. And we went to see sharks..." 

Rin fell silent for a second. When he started talking again, his voice was shaky.

"Mom, I'm so happy, it scares me."

"It's okay, love."

"He's so sweet."

"I know, Rin."

"And the most horrible thing is that I never get tired of spending time with him. It's the opposite... I want to be with him all the time."

"You both denied yourself this for too long, Rin. And he feels the same."

Rin went silent again, gathering his thoughts.

"Mom... can I... can I take him to see dad?"

He thought he heard Gou's quiet gasp.

"You know that to me Haru is already part of our family. We both love you so much and I know how much you love him. You don't have to ask permission for that."

"Thanks, mom. Love you."

Rin hung up the phone, raising his head and immediately meeting with the smiling eyes. Rin squinted.

"How much did you hear?"

"You really liked it? Even without the surprise?" Haruka was looking at him very intently. "You're sweet, too. And I also want to be with you all the time."

"Oh god." Rin groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"You really want to take me to your dad?" Haruka's voice suddently changed to a serious one and almost shy. He knew how much it meant to Rin.

The red head noded.

"I really do."

"Okay." Haru softly said, lowering himself on the floor next to Rin. 

On his hand there was something carefully wrapped into the plain white paper.

"Happy birthday."

Rin took the bundle and felt Haru's lips on his.

"I'm really so happy you were born. I hope you know, that I've loved you for a very long time."

Haruka was holding out another very battered package, that wasn't wrapped as good as the first one. Rin once saw it on the top shelf in the closet, thinking it was some old family trash.

"Just don't laugh, when you open this one. I was only 13 back then."

Rin's heart stopped in his chest. With shaking fingers he unwrapped the first present in his hands. When he got rid of the paper, the small wooden figure fell on his palm. A tiny tree, the exact copy of the original one, as if frozen in its most beautiful state. Carefully cut crown was covered with the strokes of white, pink and in places almost purple paint. The details were done so accurately, that Rin even saw the familiar placement of the branches. Tracing it with his fingers, Rin felt his eyes starting to water. Gripping the figure in his hand he wrapped his arms around Haru's neck, pulling him closer.

"Thank you." He quietly breathed out.

Haruka's hand brushed his back.

"But the second one?"

Rin whiped his eyes with a sleeve, taking the other present.

"Is this really... since the elementary school?"

Haruka lowered his eyes, there was light blush on his cheeks.

"I just couldn't give it you. You left on 25th."

Under the rusty paper there was a small plushy shark and Rin squeezed it to his chest. The thought of little Haruka picking a present for him, made his heart clench.

"You bought me a present, when you were 13?"

Haru just noded, whiping the tear from Rin's cheek.

"And now I can look at our sakura without getting out of bed."

Haru smiled.

"You always go there, when we're in Iwatobi."

Rin almost knocked him to the floor, hugging him too tightly. Haru's hand got tangled in his hair.

"Lets go, I have a surprise for you."

Rin jumped up at his words. So everything up to now wasn't a surprise?

***

Haru led Rin to the dark swimming pool hall stopping near the lighting switch. The hall was very warm, too warm for the usual temperature, the air was filled with a familiar smell, but the chrorine was covering it up, not allowing Rin to concetrate. It smelled almost like spring, which was clealy impossible in the middle of the winter. He squeezed Haru's hand.

"Will you turn on the light?"

"Not yet." He mumbled quietly, taking off Rin's coat.

When they got rid of all their clothes except for their swim trunks, Haru grabbed Rin's hand, reaching for the switch. In the next moment the hall was filled with a stream of light, but not the usual bright white, but a dull light pink color.

The view in front of him, made Rin hold his breath. The light fell to the surface of the water, illuminating the deep blue and the thousands of pinky-white floating petals, that were shining as if they were under the spring sun.

Rin gripped the hand he was holding even harder. It was February, right? Rin blinked, completely lost for words.

Haru tugged him to the pool and Rin as if in trance sat on the edge, lowering his legs in the water. Haruka gracefully got into the pool and, pushing Rin's knee to the side, got settled between his thighs, watching Rin's enchanted gaze. After several long seconds, Rin lowered his eyes, catching the ones in front of him, that were even more beautiful than the water. Haru's hands moved from Rin's hips to his waist, wrapping around him, his nose nuzzled the toned stomach. With a trembling hand Rin traced the dark hair, his fingers lazily catching the strands. His voice was rough when he quietly said.

"You know... I don't think, I can handle being without you now."

Haruka let out a surprised mewl and raised his head.

"You realize that you complitely tied me to yourself, Nanase?"

Blue eyes looked at him, calm, but attentive.

"That was the plan." He answered simply.

Haruka pushed away a bit and his hand touched the wet fabric on Rin's leg.

"Will you get down here?"

Rin jumped from the side of the pool and wrapped his arms around Haru, pulling him closer. The kiss lasted so long, that Rin started to have trouble breathing, as if he was underwater, so he took a step back to lean on the wall for some support. Haru's hand rested on his stomach keeping him at a distance. He was also breathing hard, his chest heaving.

"I promised... home... just swimming."

He disappointedly sighed and Rin bit his lip, letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Sorry, sorry... Wait, did you promise somebody that we won't desecrate the public pool?!" In a complete silence it sounded too loud and Haru involunterely laughed, making Rin giggle, too.

"I did actually" Haruka mumbled, still smiling.

Rin put his hands behind his back and shyly raised his gaze.

"It's really the best birthday, I've ever had... and I mean, I didn't even like them much... since dad."

Haruka looked at him as if Rin gave him the best present in his life. He took his hand and pulled him further into the water.

"So... can you outrace me, Matsuoka?"

Rin just smiled.

"I don't know. The view from the behind is also nice."

Their laughing was echoing from the walls for a long time.

***

They completely lost the track of time in the water. Getting out of the pool, Rin sadly looked back at the sparkling surface.

"I'd go here every evening."

Haru sat on the edge next to him a smiled.

"Someday we're gonna have our own pool and we'll do whatever we want." He leaned on Rin's shoulder. 

"Before we leave..." Rin pressed his lips to Haru, grasping his neck and pulling him down on the tiles. Haruka's eyes got wide and he caught himself, placing both of his hands near Rin's head, caging him in.

Blue eyes blinked at him one time, another, the tip of Haru's nose carefully touched Rin's. He smiled lazily, then slowly brushed his tongue on Rin's lower lip, left hand traced his earlobe, making the man under him let out a soft moan. 

His heart skipped a bit. It was the same.. same as then.. and yet so different. Rin wasn't afraid anymore, that Haru would disappear from his arms or change his mind, as he was back then. The shiver of excitement wasn't mixed with the shock and the cold of the rain. He felt warm, even hot, as if molten lava was spreading through his entire body. He was his now, entirely his. Rin's leg got wrapped around Haruka's waist and he let out a shuddering breath into the reddened lips.

"I think, we need to go home."

Haru kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Same as then?"

Rin's eyes got foggy, remembering the sleepless night. He quickly nodded, and Haru touched his cheek.

"I actually wanted to ask you for a long time... and I want you to answer me honestly, because I'm certain that I'd love everything, if it's with you..."

Rin stared at him incomprehensibly. Haruka swallowed.

"Did you ever want to switch?"

At first Rin didn't even get what he was talking about, but then he eyes flew wide open. Because he really never thought about it. His gaze became distant and Haruka lightly pinched his ear. Rin's eyes stopped on his face.

"No." He answer quietly, but then as if thinking that he made some sort of mistake, added unsurely. "Did you?"

Haru shook his head and Rin's cheeks went red.

"I just love it like that... love feeling you inside of me."

Haruka stared at his eyes for a long time, then dropped his head on Rin's shoulder, pressing himself even closer to his body. Rin moved his leg and Haru moaned, quickly pulling away.

"Let's go home, your birthday isn't over yet.. Although it feels more like my birthday." Haruka murmured, while putting their clothes on in a hurry. Rin felt like his heart was jumping inside of his chest.

***

Rin was sitting on the edge of the bed, Haru settled between his legs. Rin watched the drops of water falling from the black hair and fidgeted impatiently, letting out another annoyed sigh, when Haruka again didn't allow Rin to touch him. 

"Sit still, Rin."

Haru's lips brushed his knee and slowly went up his leg. Rin gripped the sheets and closed his eyes. Huge part of him didn't want to be patient, because he thought about this since this morning and the thought of waiting any longer made his stomach painfully twist, but he promised to keep his hands to himself. Haru's left hand traced his ribs and stopped on his hip. His lips moved to Rin's inner thigh, making him shiver.

"Lay down." Haruka pushed his palm into the well-defined abs. Rin quietly moaned, when his hand accidentally touched the hot flesh, and fell on the bed. Haruka propped one of his leg on his shoulder and Rin gripped the sheets even tighter, holding his breath. When Haru's tongue brushed the sensitive skin, Rin unintentionally closed his legs, uttering a quiet curse.

With every new move of Haruka's tongue, sounds, falling from Rin's lips, became louder and louder, until he felt like he couldn't breathe. Then he felt a thumb on his inner thigh that started to draw lazy circles on a delicate skin, making him relax the strained muscles.

"I ca..."

Haruka's tongue went even deeper and Rin had to bit his lip so hard not to scream, that he drew blood. He tore his hand from the sheets, desperately trying to reach for Haru, but then dropped it. As if reading his thoughts Haruka's palm covered his hand and pulled it in and rested it on his shoulder. Trembling fingers trailed the wet skin and got tangled in short hair at the bottom of his neck.

Rin felt like he was losing his mind, his body short-circuited, the muscles in his stomach tightened convulsively and he sobbed gripping the wet strands of hair in his hand. His whole body shuddered, as if he reached the desperately wanted release, but he knew that he was still fully hard. Haru raised his head and Rin dropped his clouded gaze to meet his eyes. In the evening light with water in his hair, Haruka looked like he was covered in drops of melted silver. He gently rubbed the tightened muscles on Rin's leg before lowering it back on the bed.

"Almost." He whispered, pushing Rin's pliant body up the bed. When Rin finally evened his breath, Haru reached to the drawer, but was stopped by a hoarse voice.

"No."

Haruka froze, startled and looked into the foggy unfocused eyes with worry.

"A m-minute. I need a minute. If you touch me now, I think I'm going to explode."

Rin's eyelids closed lazily and his hand reached for Haru's, squeezing it weakly.

Haruka pulled their intertwined fingers to his body, letting them rest on his abs and then slowly moving them down his stomach. Rin licked his dry lips.  
"It really doesn't help."

Prettiest blue eyes looked at him as if he was one of the seven wonders of the world and Rin couldn't help but reach for him with his hand, opening his legs in a silent invitation. In a second Haru was cozily settled between his thighs. His hand went down Rin's hip and the protest that was ready to fall from his lips got drowned into the sharp gasp.  
"Ha..."

Long fingers pushed into the hot, pliant body and Rin desperately clutched into Haru's shoulder. He whined.

"D.. don't, I don't need... I just need you inside of me."

"I am."

Rin's eyes flew open, looking at a face in front him with pure irritation. But catching the loving gaze, he immediately melted, stopping the insults that were ready to fall form his lips.

The hand that Haru used to prop himself above Rin, lowered from the palm to the elbow and their faces were almost touching now.

"Just breathe." whispered Haru and his lips covered Rin's.

His hand moved slowly along with his tongue, that was tracing Rin's mouth. Without interrupting the kiss, Haru pushed fingers even deeper, finding the right spot and making Rin arch in his hands. As if surrounded by the crashing waves, Rin was complitely drowing in the addicting sensation, almost losing his touch with reality. His fingers that were tightly gripping Haru's shoulder relaxed and trailed up his neck. Letting out a shaky breath into Haruka's lips, he raised his hips to meet the silky movements and threw his head back, exposing his neck to the hot mouth.

His body started to shake uncontrollably and the pleasure hit him so warmly and fluidly that his eyes got filled with tears. But Rin didn't even have time to feel empty, when Haru forced his knee out of the way and slowly pushed inside. Rin's muscles were still seizing and he clutched around Haruka so tightly that he felt him pulsating inside of him.  
As if asking for a permission, Haru lightly swung his hips, looking at him with now darkened eyes. Rin's body was still almost vibrating and he was so sensitive that he was afraid to even move. But he still made himself raise his hand to grasp his fingers around Haru's wrist. Blue eyes went over Rin's slightly opened lips, flushed cheeks and still wet long hair scattered on the pillow.

"So beautiful." Haru breathed out softly.

Rin's eyes were almost closed, lashes covering the darkened irises. He still didn't know how to properly breathe after hearing such things from him. Cause even though he knew that Haruka wasn't perfect in a conventional sense, at least not in that idealistic way many people imagined, to Rin... to Rin he was everything that he wanted. He thought that even if the most annoying thing about Haru suddently disappeared, he would inevitably miss it. Noticing his thoughtful gaze, Haru stared back at him questionably.  
Rin wrapped one of his legs around Haru's, pushing him even deeper inside of his body and making them both moan. His fingers brushed the skin on Haruka's cheek and Rin smiled.

"Just thinking, that you're perfect for me."

He heard a soft chuckle, that he felt with his whole body.

"Only for you?"

"I wouldn't recommend asking anyone else." Rin quietly grunted, but immediately lost his track of thought, when Haru almost fully pulled out and pushed back inside torturously slow.

Rin whimpered, gripping the sheets again. Haruka repeated the movement, biting Rin's earlobe and making him let out a quiet sob.  
"M-move faster."

He felt Haru lips smiling into his skin, then his tongue touched Rin's favorite spot behind his ear. Another painfully slow thrust, that made Rin's stomach clench.  
"No" Haru murmured. "I want like this."

"This.." Rin stumbled. "... my birthday."

"It's long after the midnight already." 

Haru pushed his hand under his knee, slightly changing the angle and making Rin drown his scream in the crease of his elbow. Each thrust made him more and more sensitive, but he still felt like he wasn't anywhere close to the release. Rin lost the track of time, his muscles almost went numb. Constantly coming and then subsiding pleasure drove him insane. But he was still captivated by Haru lips on his neck and the unpredictable, torturously slow movements.

Grasping the last traces of sanity, Rin came up with another strategy.

"Y..you know." His voice broke and Haru froze for a moment. Rin gathered his thoughts "...why I like it so much, when you're inside of me?"

Haru hips jerked sharply, his eyes narrowed, looking down on a heavily breathing man under him.

"It becau.." Haruka's palm covered his lips before he could finish and Rin closed his eyes, accepting his defeat.

Haru moaned out something incoherently and removed his hand replacing it with his mouth.

"Just a little bit longer. Hold on for a little bit longer."

Thrust, another one, his hips were making halfcircles, each time brushing the sensitive spot inside of him harder and harder. And then he felt it... the wave of the immense pleasure as if it sneaked up out of nowhere. Not like the ones before, when he knew it was coming. The unexpected sharp feeling stole Rin's breath, his whole body convulsed, waves were coming one after another, making him quiver in Haru's arms. His muscles couldn't stop constricting and soon the pleasure mixed with pain, driving Rin even further over the edge. He felt tears running down his cheeks.

"Oh my god, I can't.." Rin sobbed, when another wave went through his body. His felt warm arms around him and heard the soothing whispering. He sharply exhaled, trying to focus on Haruka's hands caressing his skin.

Even when it all calmed down, Rin still couldn't stop shaking. He felt absolutely drained, mind drifting in some unknown place. He tried to raise a heavy hand to reach for Haru, but it refused to move.

"Did I die?"

A hand gently moved up his wet skin stopping in the middle of his chest.

"I can hear your heartbeat from here."

"I can't feel my legs."

"We don't need them right now. Maybe in an hour.."

Haru, trying not to cause any discomfort, carefully lowered his head on Rin's chest.

"We will most likely stick to each other soon, but can I stay here?"

Rin laughed softly.

"I had no intensions of moving you."

He rested his still quite uncooperative hand on Haru's shoulder, lightly rubbing it.

When Rin's eyes started to close, he heard a quiet voice.

"Happy birthday."

Burrying his face in Haru's hair, Rin traced his fingers up and down his spine, counting the backbones. It was really the best birthday he ever had.  
Haru suddenly lifted his head and keenly stared at Rin's face.

"I almost forgot, that I didn't let you finish... what you were about to say."

Rin blinked at him. Then his cheeks went red and he covered his eyes with his hand. Haru was patiently waiting, then tugged on his wrist.

Rin groaned, already giving in. Haruka's hour apparently lasted only six minutes.


End file.
